My Journal

Just thought I'd writ down my current thoughts for myself. To remind myself of this feeling.

Well, I feel like I have not lost enough weight in Feb so I feel like when March starts it will be a new beginning for me!!!

1st March begins a brand new diet for me
=D

85lbs Goal Weight
103 Current Weight

Well, I just got back from my first taster day at Norwich college. It was exciting but I was very nervous.

 

Every girl there was so beautiful and skinny, and to make it worse, they were mainly wearing skinny jeans, showing off their amazing legs.

 

Anorexia has changed the way I look at people now. The first thing I now notice is not their body language or appearance, but their weight.

 

Also, I hate myself for saying this, but I ate a whole chocolate bar and packet of crisps at lunch today. I also had a high sugar breakfast instead of the Weetabix I said I was going to eat. I guess I did this because I was nervous. Also, everyone around me was eating at lunch and I didn’t want to make the wrong first impression, so when somebody asked me “Why aren’t you eating?” I began eating. I hate myself for giving into peer pressure so easily, I am so weak.

 

Crappy day and I probably gained weight after eating all that high fat and high calorie foods.

 

How was everyone else’s day, better than mine I hope!!

 

Think Thin

I feel fat today, but tomorrow is going to hard because I have nothing planned all day.
And when im bored I get the urge to eat.
I do snap my hair bobble on my wrist whenever I think about food but it's just not working.

I have decided tomorrow I will go on a fast.
I've never been on one before, any tips?
I've decided i'm going to tell my mum that im not feeling well so that I don't have to eat dinner.

Always Thinking Thin

As you can see, it's early morning here
About to go to a taster day at Norwich City College.
Nervous and excited.

Gunna be surrounded by walking skeletons, they're all gunna be skinny i just know it!!!
It makes me feel fat just thinking about it!

However, when im nervous, i eat!
I'm gunna have to binge eat when it comes to brekfast (2 weetabix and a lot of milk)

Then nothing to eat for the rest of the day!!!!!
My promise to myself
=D

Wish Me Luck
x

I hate this feeling that I have right now!

I feel like I am fat and when I look in the mirror, thats all that I see!

I feel really bloated but all i've had all day is a small amount of cereal!

I feel sick and I don't want to eat my dinner, however, I have to eat in front of my family!

Please someone give me advice on how to eat less without your family getting suspicious!

Thanks

*Always Thinking Thin*

I had a wake up call today,
I realised I am anorexic!

I am scared of putting on weight and skip meals regulary.
My BMI is just within the underweight region.
I love the feeling I get when I look at the scales and I realise I have lost some weight.

However,
How do you keep the weight off?
How do you keep anorexia a secret from your mum?